


Roulette

by CursedCrystal



Series: UtaPri A/B/O Verse [1]
Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Legend Star ep 10-11 reference, M/M, first time writing after hiatus in years, what did i write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 04:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18438701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedCrystal/pseuds/CursedCrystal
Summary: Every person has their own darkness, even a sunshine like Otoya. He locked it and forget about it. Until a confession from a certain team leader rival bring that memories to surface. What should he do when his most trusted friend, the one who always help him with his trouble, turned out harbor the same feeling?---------------A/B/O Theme





	Roulette

**Author's Note:**

> My first published fic in AO3 and after I went hiatus from fanfiction world in years. Not exactly I completely withdraw from fanfic, but due to works I almost have no time to write or even read for hours like I used to be. This fic also served for my English language training.
> 
> When I saw Legend Star ep 10 and 11 it triggered me to write again and after long writer-block process, here it is (coincidentally I finish it at Otoya's birthday). Sorry if I put the characterization wrong >.<
> 
> A note when you read this, the break line also separate Tokiya-Otoya POV. The first part is in Otoya, then Otoya, and it keep repeating that.
> 
> Lastly, hope you can enjoy the fic

A joint project between Raging Production and Saotome Production. Ittoki Otoya and Otori Eiichi. Didn't matter how many times Otoya saw the pair roster, it always made him sigh. He knew the importance of this project for ST☆RISH, a chance to prove to other that they can compete with HE☆VENS and Quartet Night in decisive concert for SSS opening artist spot, but still...he can’t dismiss his doubt whether or not he can get along with HE☆VENS members when in their very first meeting already filled with arrogance and look them down. Furthermore, his partner was the HE☆VENS team leader himself.

“Otoya. Otoya.”

Otoya almost jumped from his bed, didn’t realize someone called him. “Tokiya.” He removed his headphone. “What’s wrong?”

“Present for you.”

Tokiya gave him a small brown package. Strange. Fans present always directed to Saotome Production office, not their dormitory, in which the address also purposely kept secret for their privacy. That until he saw a name written under the sender place which explained why this package can be sent directly to his room. Otori Eiichi.

Both of Saotome and Shining dormitory addresses were included in the contact list for a practical reason due the joint project, but still, it was strange. Their duet debut date hadn’t been decided yet. Three days barely passed after first duet couple started their project, Tokiya and Eiji. Nanami hadn’t even finished the song.

Well, at least one thing for certain, he knew Eiichi won’t send dangerous goods. With that thought he tore the paper. A bit heavy black pouch for its small size that only took a second for him to recognize what was it. Something that he wanted for a while but unable to find time to go to a store and he didn’t trust online pick for this one. A brand new guitar maintenance kit. His eyes sparked with happiness while admiring the present.

While checking the content, he found a small card between the kit. Obviously not the part of the set, as no guitar maintenance kit had a handwritten email address and phone number in which Otoya certain belonged to the sender.

Unknown to Otoya, Tokiya gave a stern glare to his still cherished present.

* * *

ST☆RISH and HE☆VENS first duet song finished with a big success. As expected, Mighty Aura easily climbed to the top of the song chart. Though only for a moment, Tokiya also able to understand what was inside HE☆VENS prodigy member mind and a glimpse about that group condition. He won’t leave ST☆RISH, he treasured every moment singing with them more than accepting Raging Otori promotion, but he also thought ST☆RISH need to make more effort, the current ST☆RISH won’t be able to pass HE☆VENS. The other reason why he won’t join HE☆VENS, he disliked a certain condition inside that agency. A fact Eiji unconsciously said when he answered Cecil call after their recording session finished.

“Ichinose-san, do you mind if I ask something?” The brunette asked.

“About?”

“Aijima-san and Ittoki-san.” Eiji said nervously.

Two things came to Tokiya’s mind when he saw someone this nervous when asking about his two particular teammates. First an ‘unconfirmed rumor’ under strict order from Shining Saotome no one was allowed to clarify it, while the other already became public knowledge. Now, which one Eiji will ask.

“They’re not...hindering the team?”

Ah, the last one. A question that also indirectly confirmed his suspicion about HE☆VENS member.

“Sorry. I’m just curious. Father once said….”

“Omega idol is still seen as a burden, worse if in the team because of their heat.” He cut Eiji words. It was not his first time answering this kind of question but still, it irked him. How can people who have a shallow mind, who think Omega can’t have their own achievement, is still allowed to exist. It was not a rare case some agencies had ‘no Omega idol’ policy in their production house. For this, he felt grateful to Shining Saotome, albeit his quirks, never think Omega as second class. “That’s what you want to ask, right?”

Eiji nodded his head quietly.

“They always drink their suppressant regularly and when it’s time to off from medication, they’ll stay in a special room.”

Long term usage of suppressant continuously without break can affect Omega’s health. Once a year, Omega must expel the suppressed residual hormone in their system. During that week, they will need special treatment with an absolute rule, only other Omega or Beta can help them, Alpha must stay yards away even if the Omega was inside a room specifically built to hold their scent during heat season.

Ever since in academy, he understood Otoya condition, he never said a word when his friend ‘went missing’ for a week. Other ST☆RISH members had the same mind, they accepted Otoya without discriminating his secondary gender. After Cecil joined the team, the same treatment was given to their youngest member. Every reprimand was always for Cecil himself, for his personality, for his own mistake, never directed to his secondary gender. Born as Omega isn’t and won’t be a reason to hold their career. Never, even for a second, other members think they were only heavy luggage for the team. On the contrary, without those two, ST☆RISH color won’t be as bright as now.

“What our agency president see is how much we can grow, Omega or not. Saotome- _sachou_ almost fired me from the agency.” He still remembered his setback in ST☆RISH early debut, when he still need to divide between HAYATO and Ichinose Tokiya, Saotome showed him no mercy. He will never forget that moment, every time he started to feel enough with his achievement and felt too proud with it, that moment will always become his awakening bell, reminding him there are more he can do.

Eiji smiled hearing his answer. “Does Ichinose-san mind to promote some of my acquaintance later?”

‘Does he mind helping Omega who got rejected from agencies just because of their secondary gender’. He can hear the real question behind Eiji spoken words. “As long as they prove themselves worthy enough to be promoted, I can give their demo to Saotome- _shachou_ or enroll them to Saotome Academy.” And true to his words, with his promotion, some Omega was able to enroll into Saotome Academy. An almost wasted talent because other school rejected them.

“Thank you very much.” Eiji bowed before took his bag, back to HE☆VENS schedule.

Eiji probably won’t realize his question revealed a dark secret in Raging Production. That agency didn’t accept Omega. Eiji once said Nagi and Shion were the same as him. Tokiya knew Eiji was a Beta, which meant so were the other two while the rest of four members were Alpha, including his duet partner older brother and leader of HE☆VENS, the same person who shamelessly kept sending presents to Otoya.

Even though Raging Production didn’t accept Omega as an idol in their agency, Tokiya doubted it also stretched to their agency idol’s mate. Rooming together since academy he knew Otoya love song very much, too much, until that teenager didn’t realize another form of ‘love’. He lost count how many Alpha Otoya unconsciously rejected when they were still in the academy and that number increased ever since ST☆RISH debut. He wished Eiichi will face the same outcome, but his feeling also said it won’t. Unless something was done, Otoya innocence won’t help this time. An innocence, to fulfill his ego, he hoped will never disappear. Without that, Otoya will know ‘love’, without that….he no longer able to grasp Otoya in shadow.

* * *

A soul-shaking song was Eiichi request for their duet song. He did curious what kind of song will come out but at the same time, he worried. Eiichi wanted him to sing a totally different song from what he usually sang. Giving lyrics in the melody will provide him a challenge. Not to mention Eiichi attitude that made him shiver from times to times. Since their first email exchange, Eiichi surprised him by showing his real nature, far from arrogant like the impression Otoya got in their very first meeting, that HE☆VENS leader clearly showed his enthusiasm toward their duet debut, and Otoya can say in some ways Eiichi was friendly toward him. Seeing all presents from Eiichi, in Eiichi defense to not make him felt awkward when they finally meet, he should see that kind of attitude coming. Indeed Eiichi presents can’t be considered expensive with how much famous idol paid but it’s not exactly that kind of present you gave just for an acquaintance. Otoya once said his reluctance but Eiichi just kept sending him presents up to the point he had no choice but to accept.

“You still have work after this?” Eiichi asked after their first song meeting end.

Otoya nodded. “Variety show recording at five.”

“That magic show?”

“Eh? Yes.” Otoya asked himself why Eiichi knows which show he made an appearance. Idol schedule sometimes made them unable to follow simple things like TV schedule except for the one they appeared at, furthermore the show that Eiichi mentioned wasn’t at the prime time. Well, Eiichi probably saw an episode in free time between his schedules.

“I’ll give you a ride. I also have something to do in that way.”

“Eiichi gives me too much, I don’t want other think I’m just taking advantage on you.” Otoya smiled nervously.

“I don't think like that. So, take my offer? I’ll treat a cup of coffee. My favorite coffee shop is on the way.”

In the end, Otoya found himself sitting in the front seat while Eiichi drove beside him. When Eiichi said ‘gives him a ride’, he thought it will be using one of Raging Production car that Raging Otori provided for his idol, or that limo he took a glance once, not Eiichi private car. The milk already spilled, he already accepted Eiichi offer, no turning back. Most of the ride was spent in silent, too nervous to create conversation. Tokiya surely will say storm will come tomorrow if that teenager saw how quiet he now.

“Otoya.”

“Eh?!” Otoya jolted from his daydream. “Sorry, what did you just said?”

“I said we already here.”

Otoya took a look small but classy cafe in front of him, four cups in here probably equal to a single CD. Again, for famous idol like them, it wasn’t really expensive, but Otoya wasn’t the type who spend money easily. Before his debut in ST☆RISH, he rarely went to this kind of place. Even after debut, it was still rare for him, unless it was job-related or accompany Ren drank a coffee between their shoot if they had a job together. And now Eiichi will pay his cup.

“I’ll pay mine.” He said, reconsider the offer.

“I already said I’ll treat you. Don’t worry about the price, if it’s not cheap I won’t treat Eiji a cup almost every day.”

Otoya smiled helplessly again, following Eiichi to the cafe.

He struck in awe on the first sight of what he saw, modern rustic style cafe dominated with wood furniture and decoration, coated with top class varnish, yellow dimmed light gave vibe they were glowing. Hanging vine patio under the roof with plant coiled up along the steel added the shady impression. The color of the wood combined with black, also jazz music playing in the background finalized the classy aura. Eiichi took him to the cafe’s backyard, for the customer who preferred enjoying their meal outside. Again, Otoya expressed his awe in silent. Greenery and colorful flowers were lined up on the three sides of the backyard as the fence. All tables were placed above a  roof-covered wood patio, blocking the sunlight and drizzle. It was a rare calming view in the middle of ever busy Tokyo.

“Eiji also likes this seat.” Eiichi said. “He likes the view.”

“Hee….never thought as Eiichi a caring big brother type.”

“I’m harsh to him it’s for his sake too, so he won’t get bullied or treated special just because he is my younger brother. What about you.”

Otoya almost choked on his cappuccino latte. “Wh….what do you mean.”

“You and Aijima Cecil. I heard a rumor that you two are siblings.”

The real answer, yes. He and Cecil are half-sibling, born from the same mother, but president Saotome gave a strict warning never let this fact spread to public, because once medias sniffed a truth they will dig as deep as they can to find the reason why even though they’re brothers, they had different background which can reveal another secret. Same like Eiichi, he was also a son of an agency president, Shining Saotome’s son. Their difference, Shining Saotome never knew about his existence until he enrolled at Saotome Academy. Even then it took until Cecil debut for him to know this fact. He got a mixed feeling when Saotome told him, on one side he was happy he still had a father but on the other side, he was angry to the person who never bothered to search him. Finally, he decided to stay as Ittoki Otoya, a guy who grew up without knowing his parents. He acknowledged Shining Saotome blood run inside his vein, but only that. Didn’t want unnecessary gossip twisted this fact, Saotome gave an order to all ST☆RISH members and anyone who knows never spoke about the truth between him and Cecil.

“ _Na-i-sho-u_.” He grinned. He can’t tell the truth but he didn’t want to deny either. For him, just one denial equal to hurting Cecil feeling.

“Hmm, whatever you said.” Eiichi corner lips tilted up before took a sip on his black coffee. “Then let me ask, as a fellow member what do you think about Aijima and Ichinose duet?”

“Cecil conflict with Amakusa did make me worry and Tokiya also put us in panic when he said he wanted to left ST☆RISH, turned out it just to motivated us.” Otoya placed his finger under his chin, thinking about what will become his answer. “But all of them can overcome their problem and gives an amazing song. They’re great.”

“So you think Ichinose is a great person?”

Otoya nodded in enthusiasm. “Tokiya is already amazing since in Academy. He has his own charisma, he always calm, totally a great person. I once felt nervous when I knew he was my roommate.”

For a second a glint appeared in Eiichi’s eyes. “Two of you used to be a roommate?”

“Up until now. Rei-chan also our roommates at the beginning of Master Course but now he stays with other Quartet Night member so it’s just two of us again.” Otoya answered. “Eiichi? What’s wrong?” He asked, realized something was different in Eiichi look.

Eiichi closed his eyes and the glint that once there vanished without proof. “Nothing. You’ll be late if not hurry.”

Wristwatch on his arm pointed at 4.15. “Whoa, already this time.” His panic made Eiichi let out an amused chuckle.

Lucky for him it only took less than ten minutes from cafe to studio. With a barely time, Otoya able to prepare himself just before the recording start.

“Where have you been?” Asked Tokiya, sighing.

“Sorry. Get caught in talk with Eiichi.” He answered innocently, unaware Tokiya clenching his hand. “Ah, he said it’s for you.” Otoya gave a stalk of fresh flower that Eiichi asked to deliver to Tokiya before he got off from the car.

Both Tokiya’s hand clenched harder. If only Otoya knew flowers and their meaning, he will not give that flower.

 _Torikabuto_. Wolfsbane.

Otori Eiichi sent a declaration of war for Ichinose Tokiya.

* * *

After made sure Otoya already in deep sleep, Tokiya slowly slid down from his top bunk, snatching _torikabuto_ he reluctantly brought along in order not to raise Otoya suspicion. He took his step to the lake in the dormitory area, the safest place to throw away this I-don’t-want-to-see-again flower. He didn’t really care with the poison, the meaning behind the flower that made his emotion almost explode. He can’t stop asking why from all HE☆VENS members Otoya must be paired with Eiichi. Every time he saw Otoya smile raised because of Eiichi’s gift, his feeling to snatch and throw them grew stronger and stronger.

But he can’t.

He once said to himself he won’t change how he acted in front of Otoya if that meant Otoya will always be on his side. At the same time, he realized he created a wall from his current relationship with Otoya to what he actually wanted. Always hoping Otoya won’t realize.

“Icchi.”

No need to turn his head to knew who called him. Only one person called him ‘Icchi’.

“Ren. It’s unusual you still awake.”

“Hijirikawa kicked me out, just a little disagreement. Another one hour he will ask me to come back.”

Tokiya chuckled. This two relationship similar to cat and dog, though in the end they always apologized to each other.

“So, did I hear it right? Otori gave you _torikabuto_.” Said that golden haired teenager. “You know what it means, right.”

Of course he knew. He once took a part in mini-drama as a florist, understanding flower language required for a perfect act. He still remembered most of the meaning, one of it was _torikabuto_ which meant ‘enemy near you’. Otori Eiichi challenged him for Otoya. Each smile that Otoya gave for the other Alpha presents only fuel his feeling to burn them. Otoya still thought it just a friendship gift...until when. Compared to other Alpha who tried to court Otoya, Eiichi was the boldest, even other ST☆RISH members realized, except Cecil whose innocence as pure as his older brother.

“Icchi, you should stop stand as a mere bystander or you will lose Ikki.”

“I know!” Shout Tokiya. “I know...but Otoya….” He continued in a lower voice.

“If you hope Ikki will stay the same as he is now...it will hurt both of you.” Ren patted his right shoulder. “And if Ikki realizes what is ‘love’ from another, trust my words you won’t like it. I don’t mean you need to change your attitude like Otori, it will only give Ikky a heart attack. Do it in your own way. Make Ikki understand ‘love’ from you. How will he act from that point forward, it’s his decision.”

He shouldn’t wait to do what Ren said. He should start it in the morning before Otoya left to hear the new song arrangement. He still has a second thought, he still thought ‘one more day’.

Too late.

When Otoya returned to dormitory near midnight he felt lightning struck him.

He can’t forget what Otoya said.

“Tokiya….Eiichi asked me to become his Omega.”

* * *

Nanami’s melody still repeating itself inside Otoya head. Even without the lyrics, it will be a far different song than he ever sang. A soul-shaking song. He needed to put more effort with the lyrics. The last duet project between Saotome Production and Raging Production. His teammates were able to give a perfect song. As the last who held the baton, he expected to surpass the other result. A lot of pressure he should carry in his shoulder but it just fueled his spirit.

He took a stroll in an empty park after his job finished today, trying to calm his nerve and thinking what kind of lyric he should write. By coincident Otori siblings also in there, talking in lowest staircase near park fountain. Eiichi saw him, waving him to come to his place, continued his talk with Eiji before his little brother nodded and walked away.

“Eiichi won’t mad you asked him to go?” Asked Otoya after he got closer.

“I just told him to wait in the car.” Eiichi patted empty place beside him.

Otoya sat in his pointed place. “What are you doing here?”

“Just calming Eiji. He had an argument with Van about the dance part since yesterday.”

“Eh?” Otoya looked disbelief, as long as he knows Eiji was a shy and timid guy.

“He just had many things in mind and Van teased him in wrong time. Since a child, he’s the type who becomes scary when angry.” Explained Eiichi after seeing his surprised face. “And I can ask the same thing, what are you doing here?”

“Nanami’s song still gives me goosebumps.” Otoya stretched his back, tilted his head up, staring to starry sky above him. “Everyone songs are amazing, as the last one I can’t let them down. Tokiya and Eiji-kun Mighty Aura make a great opening. Eiichi didn’t feel pressured with that?”

Eiichi answered immediately. “Of course. If I can’t surpass Eiji I’ll be a pathetic big brother.”

He gave his nod. “I also didn’t want to Tokiya beat me.” A short silence before he continued his words, there was something he just remembered that needed to be asked. “Umm….Tokiya becomes a bit weird after receiving flower from that time….so I research a little….”

“ _Torikabuto_.” Eiichi gave his confirmation and a grin.

“That plant is poisonous. Eiichi wants to threaten Tokiya?” Otoya said furiously. By bad luck, Tokiya can get severe irritation from the poison.

“The plant had no poison because I know you will be the one who touched it first, I also believe Ichinose knows what kind of flower I give to him just by seeing it.”

Eiichi calmness made him more furious. He already considered Eiichi as a friend, but if it was just a farce for using him to harm ST☆RISH, don’t think he will stay silent. “Eiichi still think ST☆RISH as an enemy that needs to be eliminated?”

Eiichi only laugh. What was so funny from his words.

“That _torikabuto_ for a different reason, it has no relation between HE☆VENS and ST☆RISH.” In a blink, Eiichi face already just a few inches from his, hand stretched touching his right cheek. Otoya face color instantly turning like his hair. “I personally challenge him, as an Alpha.”

A locked door inside his heart was triggered by those words. A door that always shut tight now opened slightly, leaking out ‘unknown things’ that kept hidden behind the door.

“Why need a challenge between Alpha?” He asked in trembling voice. What feeling was this?

Eiichi chuckled, their face now became so close, Otoya can see his reflection in that man glasses. “Your innocence is your charm, Otoya, I bet it’s hard for Ichinose to keep it this way for years. I also attracted with it, but I have no intention just silently watched like Ichinose. I give him _torikabuto_ so he knows how serious I am. Because we have our eyes on the same Omega.”

Otoya eyes widened. With every Eiichi words, the gap on the door widened. A scary unknown feeling was crawling inside his body. Stop. He didn’t want to know this feeling more. Stop!

“Otoya, be my Omega.”

Eiichi kissed him right in the corner of cheek, almost touching his lips, while his body went rigid. And before he recovered Eiichi already pulled away.

“I’m glad you like my presents. I hope you realize it’s more than a friendship gift, it’s my courting gift. Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to return it. All of it already yours, Otoya.” Eiichi whispered.

“I’m not asking for the answer now. Think about it, along with your lyric, but let me tell you one thing, I don’t like waiting too long.”

To be Omega from an Alpha.

Otoya just sat for a while in his place after Eiichi left, eyes stare to nothing.

He never thought about that before. His entire life solely focused on song. He knew he is an Omega, but just that. For him, there was no difference between Alpha, Beta, and Omega. There was part of him that didn’t want to know more, a part that he kept behind the door that now Eiichi pried open. He was afraid if that part came out he no longer able to focus only on song anymore. He wasn’t like Ren, Masato, Natsuki, and Syo. It’s no longer secret between Ren and Masato also Natsuki and Syo, all of them had a special relationship and still able to separate between private life and job. A relationship between Alpha and Beta. Many people said Alpha and Omega relationship much more special than that, much deeper. One bite that made an Omega only able to see an Alpha. If he got the bite….can he still love song as much as now? His entire world just for song? All of this was too scary for him.

His hand unconsciously touched his nape. Flawless without scar…..until when. Masato and Syo bite mark will gradually disappear but he will be different, one Alpha bite in his scent gland will become permanent. Which…..Alpha.

Ah….right, Eiichi said he and Tokiya wanted the same Omega. Eiichi asked him to become his Omega, which meant Tokiya….. No way. Tokiya just a friend….right.

This feeling was too much for him. Somebody help him.

* * *

“Are you alright now?” Asked Tokiya, placing a cup of warm tea in front of a shocked Otoya. Inside his heart, he can’t stop berating to Eiichi. That HE☆VENS leader clearly stepped too far.

“Umm….” Otoya mumbled and nodded. “Sorry for waking you up. Tokiya can go back to sleep, you have a photo shoot tomorrow morning, right. It will be bad if Tokiya face looks tired.” Otoya smiled though not as bright as usual, definitely still in shock, far from calm.

“I can’t sleep if your conditions like this. What Otori had done?” He sat beside Otoya while kept maintaining the distance between them.

“I met Eiichi at the park, we just talk then suddenly….he asked me to become his Omega.”

He knew Otoya omitted some parts. No matter how forward Eiichi, that guy won’t just ‘suddenly’ pop the question. There must be talk that brought the topic to surface. Should he force Otoya to told him or kept silent? Otoya still in shock, he didn’t want to scare him, but if he kept silent he just let Eiichi doing things as he pleased.

No. He can’t just stand on the side stage and observe, no more.

“Otoya, tell me everything.” He asked.

His heart beating fast seeing the doubt in Otoya’s face. He sure it missed a beat when Otoya said one word almost in a whisper. “ _Torikabuto._ ”

His tongue tied in the place. Otori Eiichi, he won’t forgive you for this.

“Flower from that time, _torikabuto_ wasn’t it. Tokiya usually kept flower gift until wilted but I remember in the morning that flower no longer in the room. I don’t ask because that’s not my problem, but Tokiya acted a little weird when you got it. I’m curious so I searched anything related to that flower. Besides poisonous….. _torikabuto_ means….‘enemy near you’. I thought it is between ST☆RISH and HE☆VENS, but Eiichi said it’s just for you.” Otoya explained with a faint voice and downward look, not how an Ittoki Otoya usually acted. “Tokiya, it’s not true, isn’t it.”

He can’t answer because it was true. When they were still in the academy, he didn’t know since when his dislike toward Otoya changed to the opposite feeling. At first, Otoya reminded him to HAYATO, but when he realized what he actually dislike was all lies he put in HAYATO persona while Otoya was purely from himself, he started to give attention to the teenager who sat beside him now. A feeling that he always buried inside his heart.

“Tokiya, tell me that Eiichi is wrong.” Now it was Otoya who demanded an answer.

“And if it’s true, what will you do?” He said without thinking. The dam inside his heart already reached the limit. Right now he didn’t care the shocked look that Otoya gave, he should feel bad betraying his best friend, but he can’t. He wanted to be selfish. “If I said I always felt grateful you kept rejecting another Alpha courting since in academy, what will you do?”

“I….I….”

So this what Ren meant he won’t like if Otoya knew ‘love’ from others. It suffocated him. No, not like this he expected Otoya to know. Eiichi made Otoya realized it in the worst way.

Unable to restrain himself, he grabbed Otoya shoulders, pushing him down hard, his finger caressed that Omega white neck. “Every time I saw this neck I always hold myself not to bite it, put my mark on it. I saw you first, not Eiichi. I know you first.”

“Tokiya….don't.” Otoya sobbed with watery eyes.

Realizing what he almost did, Tokiya quickly removed himself, his right hand covering his face. What was just he did. His deed was just as worst as Eiichi.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “Can you sleep in Aijima-san room tonight?” He was not sure he can’t act like usual in his current state, his mind felt so full like almost exploded.

Otoya immediately ran as fast as he can. Better this way. He almost made a fatal mistake, his stupidity will ruin their friendship beyond repair in a second. Otoya trusted him, willing to tell his problem, and he just added his friend burden. Tokiya laughed wryly. He sang many love song but he can’t face his own feeling, what a pathetic idol.

* * *

“Oto- _nii_. Oto- _nii_.”

Otoya ignored the voice and person that kept shaking his shoulder. He didn’t want to get up, his eyes still felt heavy. He forgot at what time he actually slept.

“Oto- _nii_ , it’s already seven. Oto- _nii_ has recording at nine, right.”

Both his eyes now wide open. He totally forgot he had a job in the morning.

“Why you didn’t wake me earlier, Toki….” He stopped his words when he realized it was Cecil who tried to wake him up, kneeling beside the bed. His eyes darted around the room, realized it was not his room. He slept at Cecil place yesterday. Waking his little brother up in the middle of the night, almost made that young prince angry but he must be giving a kicked puppy look because without asking Cecil let him in and shared his bed. Cecil dozed off the moment his head touched pillow, but he still awake, thinking what just happened in one night. Tokiya and Eiichi.

“Oto- _nii_? You looked down again.”

He forced himself to smile, patted Cecil's head. “I’m okay. Just many things in my head.”

“Really? Since last night Oto- _nii_ smile lose it’s bright.”

“It’s alright.” He patted Cecil for the last time before putting down his hands. Only when it just both of them in the room Cecil called him ‘Oto- _nii_ ’ and in that times he had no choice to become a reliable big brother. As the last and youngest ST☆RISH member, others sometimes act like a big brother to Cecil, but as his real brother, even though they had different father, he felt his responsibility bigger than other. He should be a prime example, worthy enough to follow. Showing a sad look in the early morning was not an example he wanted Cecil to follow.

“Tokiya just from here a while ago, he said his schedule is full today.” Cecil said with confusion, from that young teenage view it was unusual for Tokiya came to his room just to give a message for Otoya. They already had schedule board hanged in the training room, updated daily, telling each other member jobs.

“Ah….” Answer Otoya with head hung low.

“Oto- _nii_ had an argument with Tokiya? Usually there is a spark in Oto- _nii_ eyes if Tokiya becomes our topic.”

“No.” His lie sounds as bad as Natsuki’s cooking.

“If no Oto- _nii_ has no reason crashing to my room last night. Tokiya also put the same face as Oto- _nii_ now.”

So Tokiya felt bad for what he did last night.

_Every time I saw this neck I always hold myself not to bite it, put my mark on it._

Tokiya words echoed in his head again, this time giving him a blush, unconsciously touching his neck again. No bite.

“Oto- _nii_ neck hurt?”

He shook his head. “Cecil...what do you think about Alpha bite?” Why he asked something like this to an innocent guy whom two years younger than him.

“I don’t know.” Of course that will be Cecil answer. “But if that from my chosen Alpha, I’ll be really happy.” That addition came unexpectedly.

Why Cecil can give a bright smile? Did his little brother already choose an Alpha? Did Cecil realize the risk?

“You sure you can stay same after receiving the bite? Still can give your heart to the song?”

Cecil grabbed his purple necklace that rarely absent from his daily accessory. Otoya usually gave no attention to that necklace, already think it’s like part of Cecil but now he realized there was something strange from the way that necklace glow, it seems trying to give a warning. Cecil wide smile now turned to a smile for hiding pain.

“Oto- _nii_ , if you don’t hurry Oto- _nii_ will be really late. Saotome- _shachou_ will be angry.”

Even it was clear Cecil just trying to end this conversation without giving an answer, he also right, there was no more time left wasted.

“We will talk about this later.” Otoya quickly got up from the bed, returned to his own room.

“I know the risk, but for him, it’s worth.” Cecil whispered to his necklace that grew darker. “Because bond bite for Oto- _nii_ and I has different meaning.”

* * *

Ten times in five minutes. That was how many times Otoya sighed since he started working on the lyrics. Tokiya pretended to focus on his book but he was getting worried. This duet project stressed Otoya out. He heard from Nanami Eiichi kept rejecting his lyric in the first read. Otoya became too immersed in his lyric, didn’t even heard the other calling him for practice yesterday until he patted that redhead's shoulder.

“Otoya.” He called. Otoya quickly shut his book. “Are you having trouble with the lyrics?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure what to write.” Otoya smiled like a child who tried to hide his mistake.

“Isn’t it more like you to write exactly what you feel rather than thinking about it?”

“Like me, huh.” Otoya mumbled weakly. “Tokiya, what do you think ‘like me’ is?”

“What is it?” Tokiya, who caught off guard for a second with Otoya expression and the question, kneeled in front of Otoya. He really needed to talk in private with Otori Eiichi about how he treated Otoya. “What did Otori told you?”

“He said I need to awaken my sleeping inner self. True to myself…...but, I don't know. This lyric and…” Otoya put his hand on his chest.

Since that night he and Otoya acted as nothing happen, but they barely talk to each other when it just two of them in the room. He wasn’t the type who talk much, everyone knew this, that was why Otoya always became the icebreaker, and he didn’t mind having small talk with his roommates before sleeping. But since that day Otoya never started a single conversation, avoiding him. Besides lyric, he and Eiichi waiting for Otoya answer, but if Otoya far from understood his own feeling, still afraid with his ‘unknown feeling’, like what he overheard when Otoya talking with Syo, the answer will take a long time. It can also affect the lyric that Eiichi wanted.

He can imagine how much burden Otoya should carry now. Some of them were his fault and he felt sorry for that, but he also can’t let Eiichi got all the point. He and Otoya sharing the same room, if Eiichi wanted a war, he will take every moment he had. Like now, purposely closing the gap between he and Otoya while that Omega lost in his own mind because once Otoya realized how close they were, he will maintain distance again.

“I think ‘like Otoya’ means smile and always stay positive. I already told you, Otoya’s smile is essential signposts that illuminate ways for ST☆RISH.” Slowly he put a black armband with a white star in the middle around Otoya wrist.

“Smile...but Eiichi said it’s not enough. I should take off my mask of lie…..I don’t understand.” Otoya gave another sigh but after a few blinks, he realized there was something new in his right arm. “I...I need to take a small walk.” He continued nervously, leaving the room without waiting for Tokiya answer.

Otoya's mask of lie....with only those words he realized what it meant. When he knew that two Omega of ST☆RISH are half-siblings with different father, he secretly investigated it to know the reason and the result only provoked his desire to protect Otoya even more. If his feeling right, Eiichi will do something that will change Otoya forever.

He grabbed his phone, dialing a number he rarely called for weeks. In two rings that person picked up.

“Ichinose-san? What’s wrong?” Answer the person on the other line.

“Tell your brother I need to meet with him now.”

You started this war, Otori Eiichi, now you will see how serious your opponent can be.

He must admit Eiichi had a big nerve. Just in an hour, he already sat inside one of the Raging Production meeting room with Eiichi across him. There was no ‘fear’ reflected in those purple eyes behind glasses.

“It’s the first time we met face to face after Shion case.” Said Eiichi.

“Yes, that time our focus only on those two, we don’t have time to talk like now. Is it your request so you get paired up with Otoya?” He can’t help to put suspicion in that possibility. HE☆VENS under agency that Eiichi father owned.

“The one who decided is father and Shining Saotome, it was just pure luck I got paired up with him, but even if it’s not, I’ll find a way to court him.” Eiichi grinned.

“You already want Nanami-san and now Otoya?” Tokiya still remembered what they bet in UtaPri awards besides each group disbandment.

“That’s two different things.” Eiichi laughed, ignoring his glare. “Nanami Haruka music is for HE☆VENS but Otoya only for me. Ever since our first meeting I already know he is a precious Omega, nothing can compare him, especially with the darkness he hides.”

Tokiya slammed his hand to the wooden desk in front of him until for a second only loud bang can be heard in the entire room. So it was true, a direct confirmation from Eiichi mouth. What that HE☆VENS leader wanted was what he tried to prevent all this time. “Otoya hides it unconsciously. If you do that he won’t be the same.”

“So just this far your feeling for him?” Eiichi challenged him back. “I accept everything Otoya has, including the darkness in his soul, that’s why I tried to make him realize it. While what you do just cover it up, you don’t accept him fully.”

The entire argument he already prepared vanished in thin air. He can only give a silent answer. Accepting Otoya fully. Again, he made something fatal, too comfort inside his own zone. All this time he felt comfortable just by watching Otoya, he thought it’s enough. Eiichi proved him wrong.

“Pathetic.” Eiichi said, standing up from his chair. “If this really how you feel for Otoya, I can no longer see you as a rival again.”

“Only for now.” His words stopped Eiichi last step from the door. Smile in Tokiya face said ‘I challenge you’. “Thank you for waking me up. I’ll give you an answer that will make you take those words back.”

Eiichi gave the same smile. “I can’t wait for it. The clock keeps ticking, Ichinose Tokiya.”

“The same goes for you, Otori Eiichi.”

* * *

Probably it was the biggest stupidity and mistake he ever made. Accepting training camp offer in one of Raging Production studio house, just two of them, with Eiichi, who already asked him to become his Omega. Even for lyric, it’s too risky. Saotome gave his permission but his heart felt heavy when typing mail for Tokiya, telling he won’t come home tonight. So far Eiichi proved himself to keep his hands and became a good host, maybe he just over caution. Nothing serious ever happened to him after more than two years sharing a room with Tokiya.

‘ _But that’s Tokiya, you don’t know Eiichi true nature yet.’_

He ignored what his heart said. Lyric for their duet song must be finished. The recording only days apart.

“Otoya, why you don’t take a break?” Ask Eiichi, distracting his focus from paper filled with lyric and none match for the song. He didn’t realize how much time already passed. Food that Eiichi made still intact, not even a single wrinkle in the wrap. “I know lyric is important, but if you get sick before recording your friends will take my head.”

“It’s not enough.” He gave the lyrics he already made so far. None, not even a single one, can bring Nanami song to the fullest.

Eiichi only needed to check it in a glance before gave his agreement.

“Why? I’m not lying to myself!” He let out a frustrated yell, holding his head. What did he lack.

“You still lie.”

Eiichi grabbed his chin, forcing his head up at the same time a thunder strike, shutting down the electric power.

“This darkness is perfect for looking at your own heart.” Eiichi continued his words, forcing him to get up, dragging him to in front of a curtain, with a pull revealing sunflower field painting behind it. “Look at it, Otoya.”

His repressed childhood memories suddenly flooded to surface. Memories he never recalled back. Sunflower field, his aunt who took care of him after his mother went missing lie down on hospital bed, funeral.

“You don’t know your father, losing your mother, losing the person who took care of you, your place to stay. Not wanting to lose more, you donned a mask. A false mask of smiles.” Eiichi whispered right in his ear while his mind trapped in an image of burning sunflower field, letting Eiichi freely caressed his cheek. “You want ‘love’ but also feared it. Didn’t want to repeat the same pain in your childhood, you locked your own ‘love’, your real feeling to ‘love’, turning it to song. We have the same soul, Otoya. I know your feeling, I won’t reject your darkness.”

He just stayed still when Eiichi became bolder, placing his right hand around his waist while his left hand covering his face. His mind was still inside his mind space, showing how disappointed his friends because of his fake smile.

“ _I’m_ _disappointed._ ”

Syo.

“ _You’re a liar_.”

Masato.

“ _I can’t believe you’re even smiling now_.”

Ren.

“ _I don’t want to be around you anymore_.”

Natsuki.

“ _I trusted you_.”

Cecil.

“ _Your smiles are fantastic. They are the signposts that light our way. But they’re a lie?_ ”

Tokiya!

No….don‘t go! He’s not trying to deceive everyone. Syo, Masato, Ren, Natsuki, Cecil, Tokiya. Don’t leave him alone!

“Now….let's finish the song, Otoya.”

His ruby eyes lose their light when he opened them. So this was his darkness. There was no way Tokiya still accepted him after his.

-oOo-

Next Door. His and Eiichi duet song title which finally finished along with the demo. Right now he felt his previous song can’t beat Next Door. He always proud of his songs but with his current feeling, he had different answer from his normal self. Normal. No. His former self. Even after finishing the song, he can only felt glad, unable to smile like he used to be.

“Good. Very good. A soul-shaking song.” Eiichi grinned widely, completely satisfied with their song, polar opposite from his reaction who just leaning on the wall. “As I expected from you.” He let Eiichi caressed his cheek.

“If I return….will I lose my place again?” He asked silently.

Eiichi expression no longer filled with euphoria after hearing his question. “Is that what you fear?”

He nodded. If he was no longer able to show his trademark smile in ST☆RISH, does he still has place in there? Eiichi reminded him he always losing someone precious to him. His father, mother, aunt, if he lost ST☆RISH, lost his place where he belonged, he can’t handle it anymore.

“If you afraid ST☆RISH will reject you, why not accept me? It’s also about time you give your answer. Will you become my Omega, Otoya?” Without waiting his answer Eiichi right hand started unbuttoning his shirt, touching his hidden white skin behind it.

Become Eiichi Omega….Eiichi knew about his darkness, that Alpha won’t reject him. He can have a new place. Only one bite and he can have a place where he always belongs, no longer afraid of losing it. But...but why he can’t accept Eiichi touch. His skin asked for different hands, not this one. The unknown feeling inside his heart screaming, refusing his mind to accept Eiichi bite.

“Hoo….Ichinose starts to move. A bit too late.” Eiichi commented when he saw his armband.

Tokiya face suddenly showed up in his mind. Tokiya who rarely smile, but when he did it became his favorite. Tokiya voice when put everything in his song. His every day calmness and seriousness. Pair of turquoise blue eyes that look straight to him. Tokiya….Tokiya….

Just a breath before Eiichi lips can touch his, Otoya shoved him as hard as he can. Holding his open wide shirt with his hands.

“I’m sorry. Let me think for a while.” He rejected. He hasn’t made up his mind yet.

Eiichi gave an angered and disappointed look. Otoya knew it’s been too long, but he still can’t fully understand this new feeling inside his heart.

“I want the answer at recording.”

Otoya nodded in doubt. “Excuse me.”

Now, where should he go. In this condition impossible for him to return to ST☆RISH, furthermore did he still accepted in there? He wanted to hear Tokiya voice one more time. At this early, even an early riser like Tokiya hadn’t woke up yet. Will Tokiya pick up his phone? What kind of words will he say?

“Otoya. Otoya.”

What should he said when Tokiya voice already this worried. Did everyone as worried as Tokiya? Cecil too?

“I can’t smile anymore.”

At the end he only said that.

For the entire day he spent his time walking aimlessly around Tokyo until his feet begging for a rest, didn’t realize the sun already down. The crowd voice around him today sounds too loud. Noisy. Too noisy. He walked as fast as possible until found a quiet place near a park. Eiichi words still echoing inside his mind, he was alone, this was his real self. Enough!

“Happy Shining Day.” Shout two familiar voices from a screen in building’s side in front of him.

Hyuuga- _sensei_. Tsukimiya- _sensei_.

He understood what message his mentors trying to tell. No matter how hard the condition was, even in the brink of crumbling, there was always hope.

Yumeoibito he no Symphony.

His friends wanted him back. Trying to tell him not to give up. They accepted him and extended their hand to help him.

He wanted to meet with them again, wanted to go back. His friends were waiting for him.

Water droplet that dripping in his cheek no longer from rain but from tears, he can’t hold his feeling anymore.

“And...one last message.” Tsukimiya continued after their song ended. “For anyone out there who still doubted yourself, Ichinose Tokiya has a message for you.”

Otoya remembered every solo song Tokiya has. Secretly downloading them to his phone and listening to it when no one can overhear. Just from the intro he knew which song Tokiya pick as his message.

 

_tatoeba namida de mienakunatte_

_Ippo mo arukenakunatte mo_

_Dou ka shinjite watashi no kotoba wo_

_Kizu wa kakusanakute ii subete wo tsutsunde yaru_

_Kimi ni tokeru amaku setsunai hodo_

_Koi ga sudatsu kanjita JERASHII yokubari na no ka?_

_Toiki sae mo zenbu ga hoshii_

_Hageshiku naru kanjou ga utau tabi ni kuruwaseteku_

_Futari dake no MERODII wa_

_Tomaranai SERENAADE_

_Negai ga hitotsu dake kanau no naraba_

_Nani mo ka mo wo sutete dakitai…_

 

Believe☆My Voice. Tokiya personal message for him. Tokiya’s feeling. Why of all song must be this one? Did Tokiya truly know his condition now? If he did know why still accept him? Smile that Tokiya once praised no longer here.

“Tokiya.” He whispered, holding the wristband he got from that teenager. “I must finish this myself.” He said in determination.

If he wanted to get his smile back, he can’t run from that place anymore, he must go there. For ST☆RISH, for Tokiya, he will face his own darkness.

The sunflower field where he promised he will visit it again with his aunt who raised him. He can’t see a single blooming flower at this season, already withered in cold weather, but when he walked passing through the already wilted flower, one by one he remembered the promise he once made. His aunt loved his smile and he promised her he will always smile like a sun. Why he forgot about it, locked the memory deep inside his heart. He will continue to smile as an idol that will make others smile too.

“Otoya.”

* * *

Thank goodness Otoya was in here. He just relied on his hunch, took a gamble that Otoya will come to this sunflower field, to the place he can’t fulfill his promise then became a scar in his heart, to get his smile back. For an entire day his feeling like in a roller coaster, now he can take a breath. Otoya no longer missing.

“We were really worried about you.” Cecil said.

Need a few second before Otoya surprised face changed to a small smile and bowed his head down, apologizing for making them worried.

“Why are you here?”

“The orphanage director told us you had a promise you failed to keep.” He showed sunflower field photo that attached to Otoya’s book before. He will face Otoya anger later if that ever happen because he did take Otoya’s belonging without permission. Other also said their reason why they were here and again Otoya apologizing.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Said Natsuki, enough to represent what other ST☆RISH member want to say, but not him.

“Otoya I’m the one who needs to apologize. We’ve been rooming together since we were students but I never really tried to understand you. I even add your burden this few weeks. I’m sorry. Am I still allowed to stay by your side?”

A bold statement to be said in public for an Ichinose Tokiya, even Ren gave his whistle while others are only able to watch with their mouth gaping. His feeling for Otoya no longer became secret but no one expected him can be this forward. Probably it better for others to know in advance he hid a lot of emotion behind his calmness, like asking Tsukimiya broadcasting Believe☆My Voice after Yumeobito he no Symphony.

“There are a lot of things we need to talk about but since when I forbid Tokiya to stay at my side.” Otoya answered with a reddened face that definitely not from morning sun that touched the young guitarist face.

“As much as I admit it’s a sweet scene, don’t forget us still here, Icchi, Ikki.” Ren teased while others nodded in agreement.

“Ah...eh….” Flabbergasted Otoya looks really cute.

At the end Otoya sunshine smile returned. Smile that he commented himself a fitting one for an idol. Every ST☆RISH  members were able to attend Song Festa live show and fans squealing loudly when Otoya greeted them with a wide smile.

He didn’t have a chance to talk to Otoya in the way ride back to the dormitory, Cecil already slotted himself right next to his big brother, letting out every worry he felt even slipped his ‘Oto- _nii_ ’ nickname. A nickname in cheery voice Natsuki commented ‘cute’, even requested Cecil to continue addressing Otoya that way but Cecil refused blatantly, saying it’s a special nickname. After arriving at the dorm, they still had a short talk about Otoya’s duet song. For a moment he afraid this conversation will hurt Otoya again, but Otoya answered it casually, seemed already accepting it as part of himself. He won’t know until other member decided to end the day and rest. They still had jobs tomorrow.

“I’m sorry for touching your belongings without permission.” Tokiya said after closing the door.

“Which one?” Otoya who sat on the sofa looked confused.

“I opened your book for this. I’m sorry.” He put the sunflower field photo he took from the book pages in front of Otoya.

“It’s okay. Tokiya tried to found me, I won’t angry this time, but if without reason that will be a different story.”

He chuckled. “Of course. It’s your belongings, even we’ve been rooming together since academy, I still don’t have right to mess it.” He said. “What is it?” Tokiya continued when saw a change in Otoya face, like someone who just realized something and thinking about it.

“We already become roommate since academy….Tokiya also likes me along that time, isn’t it.”

“Yes.” He answered in gentle tone but filled with certainty.

“Why do nothing? I never know….”

“Otoya.” He grabbed one Otoya hand. “Did you know what real ‘love’ is? I don’t want to force you knowing a feeling you already locked that’s why I kept silent. I think if you want to love someone, it should be you the one who opens the door.” But reality said different, it’s Eiichi who forcefully open that door. He will never like that moment but if Otoya finally started learning to understand and accept what is love, he won’t bring a conversation about it.

Otoya stayed silent for a second. “I still don’t understand. This feeling probably what other refers as like and love, but….why it only suffocate me. I’m scared.”

“Like and love is not always a beautiful feeling, Otoya locked it since little and now you experienced a lot at once, it must be a scary thing.” He tightened his hand. “But I will always at your side. When you feel scared just tell me, what Otoya feel, tell me. Isn’t there a saying ‘if you share happiness it becomes two fold while sadness becomes half’. Half your pain, half you suffocation, I will carry all of them with you.”

Otoya blushed furiously hearing his words, even he didn’t know from where all those words came from, he just followed his heart. He will put the same blush to himself later, when he realized how cheesy his words were, but now his only focus solely on Otoya, trying to convey all of his feelings.

“Including my darkness?” Otoya mumbled while look down.

“Next Door, isn’t it. I already heard the demo from Nanami-san.”

Otoya’s hand clenched in his grip. “Not my song style.”

He surprised Otoya when shaking his head.

“I once said your smile like a signpost that illuminates way for ST☆RISH and until now I still think that way, as ST☆RISH’s Ichinose Tokiya. But for me, whether Otoya smile or not, Otoya is still Otoya. Your darkness, you scarred heart, all of them what makes you like yourself now.”

“If you feel not want to smile in front of me, it’s okay. If you want to cry, no need to cover it. It won’t change my feeling, because all of them are Otoya. I will always at your side, accept you, protect you, and make you smile again.”

The same answer he gave when facing Eiichi again yesterday. If Eiichi only accepted Otoya’s darkness, he will make Otoya smile again when that darkness start to haunt that Omega. Eiichi gave the same reaction as him in their first meeting, reversing their position. He won’t consider this as a victory, not his intention, if Eiichi didn’t confront him this answer will forever stay in dark, he just wanted an equal footing as rival again.

“Next door is a good song. It’s what your inner heart said, why should I say it’s not like you. Otoya didn’t lie when singing that song, same like your other songs.” Slowly he stretched his hand, caressing Otoya cheek. Otoya stared at him before closing his eyes and leaned to his touch with a peaceful and relaxed expression. Can he hope Otoya will choose him now?

“Tomorrow….Next Door recording. Accompany me?”

So Otoya had decided. Tomorrow he will hear the answer with Eiichi. Fair enough.

“Yes.” He said with thundering heart.

* * *

He took one last glance to Tokiya who leaned on studio’s wall before his song intro filled his headphone, concentrating on the song. Both Tokiya and Eiichi were serious with him, trying to gain his attention in their own ways. Eiichi made him realized there was some part of himself he tried to hide. Tokiya always watched over him since in academy. Both of them were eligible Alpha. But the bite can only be given by one Alpha. He still didn’t know whether his choice was the right one or not, which Alpha that he really wanted, that was why he decided to follow his feeling.

The recording went smoothly. Eiichi praised him because he can give the same feeling into the song even though his condition different. He just smiled helplessly when Tokiya threw sharp glare hearing those words. After he started to accept this feeling, he can see now how fearsome courting competition between Alphas.

“You smile again.” Eiichi said.

They were talking behind the studio now, a place they considered the safest from uninvited ears. Relationship between idols still placed as number one gossip in magazine news, Otoya knew that. ST☆RISH and HE☆VENS were already under many spotlights, no need for him to add another one.

“Yes. I know I lost many things. My father only in name, my mother doesn’t remember me, my aunt who raised me died in illness, I got so much pain. I stopped smiling and slowly without realizing it, I start to put a fake smile because I don’t want to lose more.” He walked toward Eiichi, from the corner of his eyes he can see the panic that Tokiya tried to hide behind his turquoise blue eyes. “Eiichi make me remember again to an important promise and returned a feeling that I once locked. I’m really thankful for that…..but I’m sorry.” He bowed his head. This was his answer for Eiichi. “Sorry. I can’t accept your feeling. I still don’t understand this feeling fully, but if I must face it, I want to face it together with Tokiya.”

After a few seconds of silence, he raised his head up again, looking to Tokiya’s direction that still stunned in his place.

“Thank you for waiting for me, Alpha.” He stretched his right hand to Tokiya followed with his wide smile.

It needed another three seconds for Tokiya to accept his hands, entwined their fingers. A rare smile filled with happiness now clearly seen in Tokiya’s face.

“Otoya maybe yours now, but SSS opening artist will be HE☆VENS.” Said Eiichi, admitted his defeat.

“If I said you’re wrong, SSS opening artist will be ST☆RISH?” Tokiya challenged, that Alpha free hand now circled Otoya’s waist, turning the red hair position so his back facing Eiichi.

“Hmph. Never thought you’re a greedy type.” Eiichi turned his body, walking away from the new couple. “Don’t make me steal Otoya away from you.”

“Never.” Tokiya stated in a firm voice.

“To….Tokiya….no need to challenge Eiichi again.” Otoya protested when he got his chance to speak after a tense moment. Tokiya didn’t answer but his face only said ‘I don’t care’. “Geez, Tokiya.”

Strange. Before this, the crawling feeling inside his chest only gave him scare and fear, but just like yesterday night, Tokiya’s warmth made him calm and peace instantly. He still needed to understand more what was a real like and love, Tokiya already said they were not always a happy feeling, he can’t be hurt again….

“!!!” He jolted when Tokiya kissed his nape.

But Tokiya will always on his side.

 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

_ Omake... _

Tokiya face became the first thing Otoya saw when he opened his eyes in the morning. If every day ended up waking up like this, in each other arms, double bed that replaced their bunk bed two weeks after he accepted Tokiya felt too big. Every morning was special since he was able to see Tokiya first, but today that feeling doubled. Even with his entire body aching and he sure need a full day to recover; he already emptied his schedule to anticipate this; he can’t stop this almost overflowing happiness.

Today was August 6th. Tokiya’s birthday.

The burning sensation in his nape was his presents for Tokiya.

Alpha bite.

Proof he already accepted his feeling.

As Tokiya said, it wasn’t easy to understanding love, need a process that sometimes made him unable to focus on song, felt frustrated, disappointed, not in the mood to smile, but in every problem he faced, Tokiya always on his side. When his Alpha busy with works, though he can’t physically comfort him, his voice in the phone will compensate it. Day by day his feeling getting stronger and solid, and finally decided he will give what Tokiya wanted all this entire time as his Alpha birthday presents.

Entire night Tokiya treated him gently. He still remembered how that soft hands caressed his entire body, how that lips kissed him, and…..

“What are you thinking?” Tokiya who already awake chuckled. “Your face is red.”

“No...nothing.” He lied.

“Otoya is not good at lying.”

He let out a small scream when Tokiya arms pulled him closer. “Thank you for the presents.”

“ _Tanjoubi omedettou_ , Tokiya.”

He once thought when he got the bite, song won’t become his priority anymore. He was wrong. Song always became his priority, in the same place with his feeling toward Tokiya and he didn’t think it’s something scary. He buried his head in Tokiya chest. Calm and peaceful. He had no reason to feel afraid.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I put the wrong grammar or my writing is crappy >.<
> 
> Like I said, this fic also serve as a training. It's been a while since I write fic and also I study English Literature and I think just studying from book is boring, so why not translating one of my dusty fic. I will really appreciate if anyone can give me pointer about my writing and grammar skill for my improvement.


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